Three years ago, I was a noob at make up. I knew absolutely nothing about make up. I didn't know what bronzing meant, I didn't know what the difference between liquid foundation and mineral foundation was, and I had no idea what the difference between matte, demi-matte, dewey was. I knew nothing.
The only thing I knew about make up was apparently putting black eyeliner in your waterline is the best way to look gothic and pissed off at the world (which was not my intention!).
And at that time of life, I was insecure. I hated the dark under eye bags I had, I really did not like my flat nose, and I actually wish I had bigger eyes (which is ironic because for a Chinese girl, my eyes are already pretty big).
And then came YouTube, and suddenly I was infatuated with make up. Not because it was something new, but because I saw the potential it gave me to enhance myself, not necessarily change it.
I don't believe in plastic surgery, I believe in genetics. But there are ways ways to enhance yourself without giving up you in the process, and make up really helped me do that.
I do not wear a full face of make up everyday, because that requires time and patience and sometimes I'm just that lazy. But on the days that I decided to look my best, I wear it all, sparing nothing.
After all, I spent the money, why not use it?
I don't believe in the people of the the world that say make up should help you become a better person.
Make up is like art. It's to give you culture, experience, teachings, not to change your morals and ethics.
Sometimes I wonder to myself, what would happen if I didn't have the past three years of make up "experience"? What if I was still that naive little girl who wore black eyeliner in my lower waterline? (I actually used to call it my lower eyelid... naive little me lol)
I don't usually dwell on the past, but in this case, I do often wonder to myself.
I would probably have a lot more money right now in my bank account, but I would also be a lot more insecure than I used to be. In the end, I chose happiness in myself.
"If you cannot handle me at my worst, you do not deserve me at my best."
That is a saying I live by. Because it's true. But before make up, I had no "best". Now that I do, I bust it out when I go on dates with my boyfriend, but then there are also times when I just decide to go see him bare faced. He barely blinks an eye and just gives me hugs and kisses as if I was wearing make up.
Make up, to me, is choosing to be me, without having to worry about what others think of my eye bags and my pores. It's about giving people a good first impression and not a bad one as if you're tired.
That being said, I don't believe in tons and tons of make up. You only need enough to enhance, not change. There are certain YouTubers that I do not watch, solely because when I see their faces with make up, I cannot see who they are. They hide it all. It's like a porcelain doll, but they are not dolls, they are humans, and that kind of make up can lead to bad skin as they age (but that is a whole other debate).
Love yourself, with or without make up. But just remember that it's okay to wear make up and become a totally different person, but you are still you, and you always need to stay true to that, no matter the amount of make up you do choose to wear.